one might say we're banned from that church
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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