love makes seman taste better
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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