That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
