yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
