She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
