Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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