I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
