Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize