after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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