I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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