I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
