So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
