What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
