No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
