Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
