he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
