Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
