I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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