I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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