wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
