Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
