Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
