Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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