My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
