And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My bed smells like the plague
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
