Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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