I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
