I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
