I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
