just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize