I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
