god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
