I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
