3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
