i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
