I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
