she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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