so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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