I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize