wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
