if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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