Whod you bang
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
