You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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