At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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