It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
