if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
