Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You may now shotgun with the bride
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
