I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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