2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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