Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
