I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
