After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish you could order shots online.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
