Porn is love you can see.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
