Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
