She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
