Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
